Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
