i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
do nipples grow back?
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