Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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