Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
