PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
