Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
