sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
