remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
