dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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