I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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