I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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