Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
