There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
