I hate all girls vehemently.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
