This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize