i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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