Its about making memories worth repressing
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
