he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
