What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
