I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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