I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize