Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize