This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
