Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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