I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
