Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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