I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
