I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You're like the curious george of whores
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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