I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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