PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
