I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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