weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
