if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Congratulations! We have a period
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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