I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
