sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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