we're blogging at a bar
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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