"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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