totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
