I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
