i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
