I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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