So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
