batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
