i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
