well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
