I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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