I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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