I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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