That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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