I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize