I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
