Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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