i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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