I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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