David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize