well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
