Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm too high and old for this...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
