No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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