And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He better not be in your backpack
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
