Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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