doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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