I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dick very happy bro
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
